Spring Break in September - Just as Strange as it Sounds

LEAD WRITERS NOTE – I sincerely apologize, as this is not my best performance. I primarily blame this on my decision to spend the hours of 1AM – 5AM last night watching the UM/Nebraska game (as well as the associated post-game cardiac-related-trauma). The potential reduction in my lifespan was probably not worth it. Go Blue!

For many of those that reside in the northern half of the United States, the beginning of September is an amazing reminder of why one suffers through 6 months of cold, dreary & damnit-why-do-we-live-here winters. Because for 2-3 months (which to be honest, are more like 2-3 weeks), life is perfect. The air is crisp & cool during the early hours of a tailgate weekend. The smell of BBQ seems to be just about everywhere. Brilliant “fall colors” are on display, no matter which direction you look. And everyone just seems, content. Perfectly content.   

Having lived in Texas for the last 12 years, while the fall season still represents a departure from summer (i.e. overly-oppressive heat is now only partially-oppressive heat), there is no sense of nostalgia when September 1st rolls around. Only relief. Relief that you survived yet another summer. Relief that your air conditioner only needs to run 23 hours a day now. And relief that the frugal $12 baby pool purchase you made back in April, was a literal lifesaver. Yes, there are still tailgates. And yes, there is football. And of course, there is brisket (I mean, Texas). But the leaves are either green, brown or dead. And the air is less crisp and still has that August hint of suffocation to it.

The only reason why I divulge into the seasonal variations of life, is because no matter where one resides in the United States, September is always September. It is fall. It is autumn. It is the close of one chapter, and the opening of another. What it is not, however, is the month of spring break. Carson Daly and Pauly Shore aren't in Daytona Beach in September. There is no official YouTube channel dedicated to the “white girl woo” in September. Flights to anywhere with sand & water don't cost a small fortune, in September. Which is why, we were somewhat caught off guard when our daycare alerted us, that there would be a holiday break coming up. In September. 

Thus, with our mental compasses thrown to the wind, and no Acapulco or Bahamas from which to choose, we decided to enjoy “Spring Break in September” by doing what all people do when they forget to make travel plans - a staycation. And staycation we did:

• Monday - Company’s Garden – What better way to kickoff spring break as a child-possessing adult than by visiting the oldest garden in all of South Africa?! Dating back to the 1650s, the Company’s Garden is the official “green space” in the Central Business District of Cape Town. Comprised of various walking paths amongst botanically-filled exhibits (excitement level 11/10), the park tends to be primarily frequented by those who prefer to stroll around with hands clasped behind their backs, walking at a pace that is quite perfect for a 2-year-old just starting to perfect his upright promenading skills.

 

• What is also interesting about the Company’s Garden (if you have not yet been blown away by the notions of plants & vegetation), are the various buildings that surround it. While the century old church & synagogue are fairly impressive, as are the planetarium and other museums surrounding the Garden, the real standouts are the "hidden" buildings set amongst the trees – The South African Parliament (i.e. Congress) as well as Official Residence of the President. Two vital structures to the government of South Africa, that could easily be mistaken for abandoned buildings if you didn’t happen to notice the small placards at the fences gate. Subtlety at its finest.

 

• Tuesday - Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden – Continuing on our pursuit of places that highlight the world of photosynthesis, we found ourselves at Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden – An expansive green space at the foot of Table Mountain, encompassing over 7,000 plant species from across Southern Africa. With most visitors, again, strolling about at the pace of a 150-year-old tortoise, we managed to quickly knockout the “must see” sights in a maze of greenery:
  • Braille Trail – A small trail dedicated to blind visitors of the Garden. With a “guide” rope leading to various braille-written boards, it was an interesting exhibit you wouldn’t expect to find in a country that is much less “woke” than the US tries to be.
  • Boomslang Canopy Walkway – A winding snake-shaped walkway that rises above the trees to give incredible views over the Garden, and the surrounding mountainous vicinity. So, basically your Instagram spot.
  • Concert Lawn – Home to a Summer Concert Series (pending, ya know, COVID), the Concert Lawn at Kirstenbosch definitely gives Red Rocks in Colorado a run for its mone (as far as the whole “scenic concert venue” category is concerned). Now if they could only get U2 to come visit. #comevisitusbono

 

• Wednesday - Imhoff Farm – There seems to be a growing trend in South Africa to take the concept of a farm (i.e. animals and/or crops), and surround it with countless craft shops, vintage clothing stores and award-winning restaurants. Imhoff Farm, located in Kommetjie (pronounced with letters that don’t appear in the word itself), is no exception. With the “foundation” of the farm comprising an elaborate children’s petting zoo (inclusive of rabbits, goats, pigs and even a lonely emu), the remaining I’m-not-good-at-measuring-acres, acres, resemble a small village from the 1800s. Except in this case, it was not designed by M Night Shyamalan, and they also sell avocado toast for $10/slice.

 

• Thursday - Newlands Forest – Residing literally steps away from Kirstenbosch, yet conveniently lacking the entrances fees of its more well-known predecessor, Newlands Forest is one of the best hiking spots for local Cape Tonians. With countless trails zig-zagging underneath the canopy of the woods, some of which are confined to Newlands, others which travel all the way down the Cape Peninsula, it is the perfect place to get away from the city, while you are still in, the city.

 

• What makes Newlands Forest so intriguing, however, is the complete and utter lack of any trail post signs. With an exponential number of trail routes (imagine “choose your own adventure” hiking addition), the only guiding point to keep one from getting utterly lost (or in the case of Julie, bringing back PTSD from our honeymoon hike), is the towering mountain under which the forest resides. Thus, up is bad. Down is good. And left or right is neutral. Easy peasy chicken parcheesi (yes, it’s a saying, trust me).

 

• Friday - Groot Constantia – And finally, no exploration of Cape Town is complete without a visit to a local winery. With 560 wineries spread across the Western Cape Province, the options are endless, and the $3-4 ridiculously cheap tastings are limitless. And since we had already visited the oldest garden in South Africa, we figured, why not visit the oldest wine farm in South Africa? Dating back to 1685, Groot Constantia is as historical as it gets, and has the perfect backdrop of Table Mountain to pair well with your glass of Chardonnay. Unfortunately, our visit was cut short by what many would describe as, "miserable as shit weather." Thus, we drove, we parked, we got very wet, and we left. Til next time.

With Saturday and Sunday spent recovering from an overly-aggressive itinerary (i.e. recovery = screen time galore), the rest as they say, is history.

 And with that, onto the pics: