Playgrounds - The Starbucks of South Africa

Several weeks ago, I was digging around in my external hard drive, searching through photos of my “prior life” in South Africa, way back when in 2007. While the initial intent was to locate a specific picture from Thanksgiving here in Cape Town, I quickly become immersed in what can only be described as delude of drinking establishment-based photos. Photo after photo. Album after album. Me and friends. Me and strangers. Me, friends, and strangers. Bottles of Black Label beer clutched in our hands, glazed looks in our eyes, and endorphin-filled smiles covering our faces from ear to ear. This was life at the careless age of 25. (Insert deep sigh).

Fast forward 14 years later, and life is… slightly different. Bars are now only frequented on the rarest of occasions, and usually are a stark reminder of what is like to be constantly bumped into while waiting for a 22-year-old bartender to notice you have been staring intently at him for the last 15 minutes. And photo albums, well, almost none show your actual self anymore, and instead feature miniature versions of you. Still drunk, but in that, “just learning how to walk upright,” type of way. And almost all said photos seem to be taken at the officially unofficial I’m-35-and-this-is-where-I-spend-happy-hour-now, playground.

Which brings me back to South Africa. A country where almost 30% of residents are under the age of 15 (in comparison, the US is less than 19%), and society seems to be a direct reflection of just that heavily-weighted proportion. Kid-friendly would be an understatement. Aside from the inability to walk down the road without countless strangers waving, smiling or mumbling incoherent Zulu phrases in the direction of your children, almost every establishment in this country seems to be geared towards catering to the future generation of this nation.

Out for a walk in the neighborhood? Playground. Eating dinner at fancy restaurant? Playground. Partaking in a day of wine tasting at a local winery? Playground. Walking from one playground to the next. Playground. Everywhere you go in this country, a thoughtful civil engineer w/2.38 kids made the decision to take an establishment typically frequented by adults and give them a much-needed reprieve in the form of swings, slides & see-saws.

Now, what is interesting about playgrounds in South Africa, is they typically tend to fall into 4 distinct categories, outlined below:

• The Darwin – By far the most common playground in all South Africa, these “tetanus traps” have been weeding out weaker children for years, thanks to an array of “activities” designed with natural selection in mind. Heat-absorbing metal slides w/rusted out ladders. Spinning “tops” that guarantee the one-two punch of dizziness followed by mild concussion-causing falls. And climbing structures that create a Plinko-esque return to the ground if one’s balance isn’t up to par. If your child survives an outing here with only a scraped knee, consider it a success!

• The Old Faithful – The 2nd most prevalent play structure in South Africa, is also one of the most reliable for guaranteeing your kids 15-20 minutes of entertainment. Crafted solely from lumber, these playscapes almost always include the following: Ladders to a platform, spinning “navigator wheel” at top of said platform, mini suspension bridge, hand-hold-filled wall (or net) for climbing, and of course the ever-reliable, plastic slide. While safety appears to be at the heart of this “next gen” design, its results have surprisingly had the opposite effect on its target market, with most kids being drawn back to the rusty thrills provided by The Darwin. 

• The Tim the Toolman Taylor Special – Typically located at finer establishments (e.g., wineries, open-air farmers markets), these playgrounds are the embodiment of creativity and “over the topness.” While each is unique in its own sense, the general notion of “blow a kids mind” tends to be the primary factor in the original architectural plans. Hollowed-out trees with ladders inside? Sure! Multi-level bridges that lead to slides of varying heights? Why not?! A zip line that somehow is ok for small unaccompanied children? Go for it! While a much rarer breed of playground, this genus is by far the most efficient for distracting your young one’s while you knock out a couple wine tastings on a late Sunday afternoon. 

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• The Oh Look, There’s a Playground – And finally, just when you least expect there to be a playground, there is a playground. Usually taking up a relatively small amount of real estate, these miniature wonders are perfect for distracting your children when a quick “internet immersion” is required. Sometimes outside a grocery store. Sometimes outside the South African equivalent of Jo Ann Fabrics. Sometimes just in the middle of nowhere. Regardless of their location, they are always a much-welcomed sight, and almost always produce the namesake reaction of “oh look, there’s a playground!”

Thus, just as there is a Starbucks on every corner of the US, there is a playground playing a similar role here in South Africa. To give a bit of perspective, within a 1-mile radius from our house in Cape Town, there are (from what we have discovered thus far), 6 Darwin’s, 4 Old Faithful’s, 2 Tim the Toolman Taylor Specials and 1 Oh Look, There’s a Playground. In Austin, we have 3 publicly-accessible playgrounds within a mile of our house. And I would say we live in a relatively family-friendly neighborhood, in the central part of town.

I imagine a blogger with much more in-depth research as it relates to the role of children in South African vs American society, would be able to depict and digest why these discrepancies exist. Yet, as it is already Tuesday evening, and the past 24 hours have been spent dealing with a power outage to the entire City of Cape Town… on the hottest day of the year… and, I am making the executive decision to phone in this conclusion paragraph.

Onto the pics: