The Great Wildebeest Migration – 15 Years of Waiting Decided in 15 Minutes

Ever since deciding to relocate to South Africa for a year, one of the foremost “bucket list” activities in which we hoped to partake was the Great Wildebeest Migration – A term used to define the largest mammal migration in the world, whereby over 2 million wildebeest, zebra & gazelle follow a “thousand year-old path” in the African savannah in pursuit of land on which to graze, birth calves & generally attempt to avoid their dedicated “fan club” of life-ending predators.

A year-round event that spans anywhere from 800 to 1,000 kilometers, from the Serengeti in Tanzania to the Masai Mara in Kenya, the Great Migration is best known for culminating in two key events, both captured quite exhaustively by any documentary voiced by the James Earl Jones of wildlife -- Sir David Attenborough:

• The Mara River Crossing (August - September) – Probably the most famous, yet hardest to time event of the Migration, involves the crossing of the Mara River, whereby the entire herd must traverse a river teeming with crocodiles, most of which are anxiously awaiting those with the swimming competency of a Racquet Club Developmental Swim Team member (no idea who may fit into this fairly-specific category)

 

• Calving Season (January – March) – The period in which the migration settles into the “short grass plains” of the southern Serengeti and unleash over half a million wobbly-legged calves upon the Earth. Most of which join the herd, while an unfortunate few become the unwilling target of nearby lions, cheetah & leopards. Great if you are looking for a memorable safari. Awful for pretty much everything else (queue a little Elton John)

With weather patterns dictating the exact timing of where the migration resides during any given month, the general path is always the same -- Around and around and around (clockwise, of course). Except as of late, where drought, floods and all the other fun events that accompany climate change have moreorless “confused” the migration, resulting in a general scattering across the entire region. Which, while still quite impressive to witness, has provided a much more resounding voice to those falling into the “when I was your age” camp.

Now, the majority of visitors hoping to observe this once-in-a-lifetime event, despite its less-than-predictable whereabouts, utilize the services of a professional tour operator, solely dedicated to coordinating the vast amount of details required to bring this expedition to reality. Since, as Tanzania possesses a very limited “DIY infrastructure,” attempting to organize a trip as an “independent traveler” is an endeavor from which most steer far away. Most…

• Step #1: Create an Itinerary – Probably the most straightforward part of the planning process, as hundreds of tour operators are more than willing to publish their own plagiarism-friendly itineraries online. Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, and your trip is ready to go!

 

• Step #2: Book Accommodation – With the bulk of lodges & rest camps working almost exclusively with tour operators, the greatest challenge here is attempting to convince the reservations desk that you are not an agent in the world of travel. And of course, be willing to deal with a never-ending email chain that is almost entirely comprised of three repetitive phrases:
  • “Hi, no that is not correct, we had originally requested (insert original request)"
  • “Hi, just following-up on my last email as I had not yet received a response”
  • “Hello?”

 

• Step #3: Book Flights (Long-Haul) – While fairly effortless to coordinate, as most long-haul flight operators function almost exclusively online, the difficulty here is choosing from a very-limited selection of still-in-operation airlines:
  • Ethiopian Airlines via Addis Ababa –
    • Pros = Very cheap, great flight time options (i.e. not in the middle of the night)
    • Cons = Ethiopia is currently going through a civil war
  • Kenya Airways via Nairobi –
    • Pros = Kenya currently exhibiting much less political divisiveness (i.e. no civil war)
    • Cons = Flights more expensive, and depart at the very un-child-friendly time of 1AM.
    • Post-Mortem Cons = An extremely high likelihood your originally-booked flight will be canceled WITHOUT your knowledge, only 3 weeks before travel, with the only reason for your discovery being a spur-of-the-moment curiosity of seat selection.

 

• Step #4: Book Flights (“Bush Flights”) – With almost ALL "bush flight" operators sharing the same internet user interface (which apparently runs best on Netscape Navigator v1.3), the only hope you have of successfully acquiring tickets is by crossing your fingers and praying that your session doesn’t time out. Because attempting to email or call any of these companies is as productive as a Friday 5PM zoom meeting. During March Madness.

 

• Step #5: Hire a 4x4 – As only two companies offer customers a kitted-out Land Cruiser that can survive the onslaught that are the roads of Tanzania (more on this to come), the selection is simply a matter of picking the one with the more appealing name. As both companies are almost identical in price, service & a general lack of responsiveness (catching onto the theme here?)

 

• Step #6: Payments – By far the most complex aspect of the process, is figuring out how to actually pay for all the above options. Which basically fall into 1 of 3 categories:
  • Local Bank – If on the off-chance you have a bank in Tanzania, well there you go!
  • Wire Transfer from International Bank – Just send payment to the banking details provided by the company, which of course do not align whatsoever to any US wire transfer interface. And if you do possess this ancient translation table, enjoy that $50/wire transfer banking fee.
  • Credit Card – After sucking up a 5% credit card fee, good luck with your payment actually processing. As 9/10 attempts will undoubtedly fail due to “processing errors.” But hey, at least the 1 try at 3:30AM worked!

Overall, no sane person would choose to spend countless hours wading through the convoluted process that is planning a Tanzanian safari. Especially during a pandemic, which not only has utterly devested the tourism sector in East Africa, but has resulted in the weekly closings of lodges, camp sites & airlines (i.e. rebooking, rebooking, rebooking). However, if said person decided to take on this task, the $$ savings would be quite significant, but more importantly, would lead to the ever-enjoyable conversation with company owners exclaiming “oh yes Mark, I remember you from your emails!”

And finally, just to unnecessarily tempt the fate of our marriage, a decision may have also been made at some point to avoid the recommendations of the “collective internet” / wives with the last name of Soskolne, and bypass hiring a driver familiar with the route, in favor of attempting to blindly navigate ourselves. In a region of the world where the maps are as detailed as “look, there is a road from New York to Los Angeles.” During the rainy season. With two small children well below the “recommended age” for a Tanzanian safari. (Insert long pause). Only time will tell how many hours of therapy will be required to overcome a potential night “stuck in the mud.”

Anyhow, as those closest to us allow their heart rates to subside, I would like to briefly circle back to my own personal experience with the Great Migration, and officially bring the title of this blog back into focus. With a trip to the Serengeti originally planned all the way back in 2007, during my prior Tanzanian excursion, my aspirations were unfortunately thwarted by a poorly-timed “African Death Cold.” Thus, instead of witnessing millions of animals partaking in a journey as old as time, I instead was stuck in a German-run hostel with no internet, no TV and only 7 books, all of which were in, yup, German. Fifteen years later, and with just a slight inkling of PTSD as it relates to Germanic literature, and my chance at redemption was upon me (i.e. now, us). With only 3 meager obstacles laying in our path:

1. COVID-19 PCR Test – Taken 96 hours before departure into Tanzania.
2. COVID-19 PCR Test (Re-Take) - Wait, scratch that, the government forgot to update their site, 96 hours before ARRIVAL. Which means we were originally 4 hours short…
3. COVID-19 Rapid Antigen Test (On Arrival) – Yes, even with a negative PCR test, Tanzania, a country that once declared “ginger tea and praying” as the best cure for COVID-19, requires all visitor to pass a rapid antigen test on arrival. And if said test comes back positive, then a mandatory 14-day quarantine in a Tanzanian-operated government hotel awaits your future. Which, needless to say, with a 2 and 4-year old, is a special sort of hell.

Fast forward to "near-present day", we departed Cape Town with 2 of 3 negative COVID tests under our belt and officially commenced our 36-hour journey to Tanzania (24 of which were spent in a Johannesburg airport hotel, as our previously-planned visit to relatives went astray thanks to a sick & fever-riddled cousin). Nonetheless, arriving into Kilimanjaro International Airport in Tanzania, after a day of travel best not remembered, we were immediately ushered into a room for some extremely thorough “brain scratching.” 15 agonizing minutes later, and we were presented our test results. Negative, and 15 years of waiting and what feels like 1,500 hours of planning could finally come to fruition. Positive, and you would soon be witness to the most depressing blog post in the history of bloggerdom. 
 
…

Negative. 
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Onto the adventure, and for the time being, onto the pics:

Next Blog Post:  Ngorongoro Crater (Witty Title TBD)