South America: 3 Months Recapped in 3 Minutes

After several weeks adjusting back to American culture (i.e. less Spanish, more English), as well as a 10-day period of antibiotics to rid myself of "new friends" brought home from abroad, I have finally settled back into life in the States. Girlfriend catch-up time, HBO series catch-up time, and of course sweating my ass off in 105 degree heat catch-up time have all seemed to keep me busy over these past few weeks. 

However, with a new job starting in less than 6 days, and thus an impending welcome back to "reality" just around the corner, I have decided to take some time out of my busy couch-frequenting days to put together one of the final blogs from my trip while I still can - A brief number-heavy recap of my adventure in South America. Let the blog begin!

General Trip Stats:

• Total days = 95
• Countries visited = 6
• Cities visited = 37
• Highest altitude reached = 15,928 feet
• Avg altitude during trip = 6,000 feet
• Avg altitude during trip (excluding coastal towns) = 8,316 feet
• Days spent above sea level = 69
• Days spent at least 10,000 ft above sea level = 29
• Photos taken (well, kept that is) = 2,500+
• Waterproof cameras broken due to water damage = 1
• Non-waterproof cameras not broken, despite spilling an entire beer directly on it = 1
• Facebook friends made = 39
• Non-Facebook friends made = 0 (Not sure such people actually exist)
• Weight lost over the course of trip = 14 lbs
• Weight gained back after 2 days in the US = 7 lbs
• Hostel beds slept in = 36
• Avg hostel cost = $9/night (Cheapest = $3.70 - Sucre, Bolivia -- Most Expensive = $19 - Arica, Chile)
• Complete Guinea Pigs consumed = 0.95 (damn that brain)
• Consoling emails sent to GF and Mom = Enough

Transportation Stats:

• Long-Distance Bus Rides = 41
• Night Buses = 15
• Hours spent on long-distance buses = 274 (12% of entire trip)
• Miles traveled = 7,120 (NOTE: Earth Circumference = 25,000 mi)
• Longest bus journey = 20 hrs
• Longest "detour" = 10 hrs
• Avg bus journey length = 6-7 hrs
• Avg bus journey cost = $1.80/hr
• Movies watched lacking any spoken English or subtitles = Too many
• Movies watched actually with spoken English or subtitles = Not enough
• Hours spent walking, hiking or meandering via my two feet = Many
• Internal round-trip flights = 1

Other Stats:

- Item's (L)ost/(S)tolen = 9.5 (Merrell Hiking Shoes (S), Button-Down Dress Shirt (S), South African Beenie (S), Michigan Hat (S), Michigan Long-Sleeved Shirt (S?), Michigan Hoodie (L), Travel Towel (L), Headlamp (S), Soap Travel Container (L), Cell Phone (S*)) - Somewhere there is a person decked out in Michigan gear ready to hike some dimly-lit mountains. I do not like this person.

* Cell Phone disappears, complaint filed with hostel, cell phone mysteriously reappears later that day on my bed.

Top 5 Places Visited:

1. Machu Picchu - As a checklist traveler, this is one well-known "check"
2. Colombia - Friendly people, amazing landscapes, lack of cartel-related crimes
3. La Paz - Altitude-inspired records, death roads and "large-boned" wrestling women
4. Salar de Uyuni - Photos, more photos, and even some more photos
5. The Amazon - Macau's, machete's and of course severe malnutrition

Honorable Mentions: Colca Canyon (it's pretty deep), Cusco (rocks, stones and other objects that fall in between the two), Lake Quilotoa (one high-ass lake), Paramount Pictures Mountain (making every future Paramount movie that much more interesting), Lake Titicaca (mostly for the ability to repeat it's name over and over)

Top 5 Experiences:

1. Inca Trail Hike - Best finish to a hike ever
2. Biking the World's Most Dangerous Road - Not only did I survive, I got a free t-shirt too!
3. Sleeping in Hammock's at Tayrona National Park - Colombian paradise
4. Santa Cruz Trek - One of the most scenic hikes of my life (as well as hilarious - thanks to a ridiculously-prepared Israeli family) 
5. Amazon "Bear Grylls" Survival Tour - I never said it had to be an enjoyable experience

Honorable Mentions: Cocora Valley Hike (super tall palm trees + mist = photogenicness), Salar de Uyuni Tour (more photogenicness), Sand Boarding/Dune Buggying (desert-themed roller-coaster), Floating in a Mud Volcano (it's weird), anything to do with Llama's (obviously), eating Cuy (Guinea Pig), Cholita's Wrestling (please youtube it), Pablo Escobar Tour, every Spanish conversation in which my comprehension surpassed 50% of words spoken

Untop 5 Experiences:

1. Leg bite from an angry (and hopefully rabies-free) dog in Ecuador
2. 18 hour Colombian "detour" bus ride - 1/15 of which was spent in reverse
3. Any period of time that involved never-ending pan flute music while stuck in an enclosed area (i.e. bus)
4. Any time my "intestinal friends" decided to pay a visit 
5. The Untold Story of the Friendly Muggers (Coming soon!)

Honorable Mentions: Pepe the non-traquillo Alpaca biting my eye (and thus inducing several hours of never-ending watering), 28 hour "involuntary fast" during my Amazon tour, most of Chile

Overall, my 3 months in South America provided me with more amazing experiences than I could have ever envisioned. From watching the sun rise above the horizon, enveloping the undisturbed ruins of Machu Picchu in light, to hiking along never-ending green valley floors, as towering snow-capped mountains loomed above. No matter where life takes me from this moment, I am glad to have had the opportunity to share my adventure with you all. And although no more multi-month journeys will be partaken in my near future (this whole "life" thing has to start sooner-or-later), other, somewhat shorter one's more than likely will. Hasta la proxima vez.

Next Week: The Untold Story of The Friendly Muggers