The Big 3: Bogota, Medellin, Cali

WARNING - This blog contains excessive amounts of information, with a large percentage lacking comical or witty substance. I blame limited time and slow internet. You can blame the author if you wish.

Leaving the quaint mountainside towns behind, my journey took me further south to the three most populous, and most-likely well-known cities in Colombia: Bogota, Medellin and Cali. With all three cities encompassing reputations that combine a solid mix of amazing nightlife and danger, the only danger we seemed to encounter was from being overserved by the friendly locals who seem to shower "gringos" with free drinks whenever possible. 

BOGOTA - With a reputation of being big, busy and somewhat ugly, Bogota scored a 3/3 on all counts. Although overcast skies and rainy weather didn't seem to help it's cause, Bogota still provided some memorable highlights:

• Ridiculously Unhealthy Food - With almost a month under my belt traveling around South America, I already am searching for every opportunity to avoid the unavoidable "Pollo Con Arroz" (Chicken w/rice) that seems to dominate every restaurant in this entire continent. Thus, when presented with two new delicacies to try, I was overly excited to give my pallet a new flavor to sample:
  • ​Treat #1 - Chocolate Santafereano Con Queso y Pan = Hot chocolate that is served with a hearty portion of cheese (mixed in at the bottom), alongside several slices of overly-buttered bread. Nutritional Value = 2/10. Stomach Death Feeling Rating = 6/10.
  • Treat #2 - Obleas - Two fried waffle wafers packed with copious amounts of​ caramel, mayonnaise, cream (might have been more mayo, wasn't truly sure to be honest), jelly, sprinkles, nuts and then of course, 1/2 pound of cheese. Nutritional Value = -1/10. Stomach Death Feeling Rating = 10/10
  • Add to that Bogota´s obsession with candy/chip/snack/cigarette stands on every corner, and I have now decided it is officially the unhealthiest city in the world. 
• Gold Museum - Rated as the best museum in Colombia, all I can say is that two painful hours of ¨mineral history¨ has officially put off from museums for the rest of this trip. I´ll leave my ¨cultural¨ experiences to fatty foods and practicing my mangled Spanish with taxi drivers (which by the way could be THE cheapest/best way to learn Spanish on this continent).
• Bus Ride To Medellin - Although I could write an entire blog on this journey itself, instead I leave you with a brief summary. Our 8 hour intially-planned ride turned into an 18 hour journey that involved 4 hours stranded in the middle of nowhere due to mudslides, 1 failed attempt to manuever a 89-point turn on a 2-lane mountain road, 45 minutes driving in reverse down the mountain, and of course a route that maps out to the equivalent of driving from Detroit to Chicago via Nashville. And to top it off, I was forced to wear my poncho for about 75% of the journey as my seat happened to be located underneath a mini waterfall of rain water. Luckily only 1/2 the bus got sick though...

MEDELLIN - As the past home of Pablo Escobar and his infamous drug cartel, Medellin has been struggling to overcome it´s reputation as one of the most dangerous cities in the world. With citizens unable to leave the city borders (or enter) for years, in fear of being kidnapped or murdered, the city was almost unvisitable until only a decade or so ago. However, since then, Medellin has rebuilt itself, and now boasts the only metro in Colombia, a beautiful landscape, and an amazingly-friendly population. Onto the highlights (well, actually just one highlight - the 18-hour bus journey took a chunk out of ¨sight-seeing¨ time):

• Pablo Escobar Tour - After forking over a ridiculous $30 for this newly-developed tour (to add context, a night in a hostel in Colombia costs $10, and a full meal about $3-4), we were shuttled across the city of Medellin to witness various sites associated with the life and death of Pablo Escobar - one of the most famous criminals in the world. Visiting his home, the location where he was killed, as well as his gravesite, the greatest highlight was traveling to his ¨hideout¨ location in the hills in Medellin. Walking through this bullet-ridden house (as it had been raided on several occasions), we had the opportunity to sit down with his nephew, a man heavily involved in the Medellin cartel, and pose any question in regard to his life. Although it did take him a bit of time to open up to our questions, my favorite answer he provided was to my question of ¨what was your role in the Medellin cartel,¨ to which he responded with a smirk, ¨I was the nephew of Pablo Escobar.¨ I must say though, it is truly surreal to hear a man speak of murdering people, trafficking tons upon tons of cocaine to the world, and then justify it wholeheartedly by blaming a ¨corrupt government" and stating "we didn't invent cocaine, we just filled the demand." Oh drug-dealers...

CALI - "The Salsa Capital of the World." Enough said:

• Salsa Lesson & Discoteque Night - No visit to Cali would seem complete without partaking in the dance that seems to dominate almost every discoteque in this city. Thus, after my $7, 2-hour lesson, I was ready to put my feet to the test. To make a long-story short, as this blog has gone beyond even my mother's attention span limit: 45-year old doctor invites us to join him and his intern in an empty club (he proves his honesty by showing us he has a car with a remote alarm -- there ya go!), free drinks provided all night (sans date rape), two forty-something, somewhat portly females friends join us, I am tossed around like a rag doll by female friend #1 (as everything I learned in class proves worthless when in an actual salsa club), female friend #2 happens to be the worst dancer in all of Colombia, and instead of salsa, I attempt to teach her how to two-step (of which I have no extremely limited experience/knowledge). In summary, I'm pretty sure my salsa-dancing career is officially over.
• America Day - Domino's Pizza for lunch, watching "The Hangover Part II" at a local mall (Chipichape - best mall name ever), McDonalds for dinner. America! America! America!

Next Stop: I am so far behind in this blog at this point, I really have no idea. Expect a possible late-week, limited-text, picture-only blog.

Onto the pics: